Ego.
To protect my ego, i chose to deny my own feeling,
Maybe I can't get rid them all in a blow, but I try to let go, little by little.
I don't want to be inside the wheel again, it was fun to spent a little bit of my youth with you. But seeing you these days, after the thing that went through, and how it changes us into two, it just break my heart. I used to miss you, like a lot. I cried a lot too on the night, before i can go to sleep. I dreamt of you often.
To be honest, the part that I hate the most in separation is the 'Missing' part. I might say that 'I don't need you, I can live on my own, you're just a bad memory that can easily fade away'. Yeah, but still, that's what your brain just said. And, the heart wants what it wants. The heart wants you while my brain just cannot accept the way you are. We can agreed on this, love makes us insane, logic thinking is no more working in a normal way.. My brain won the war. The feeling for you had been neatly repressed.
Now this is my way of letting go, accepting the facts that those days were the stupid chapter in out youth, I am acknowledging each one of us as a brand new person; that changed to become better in time.
p/s: You might knew me as the laughing-all-the way kiddo back then. I am still one, but my emotional rage is like a silent wild-fire. For you.
Anyway, that was my ego against you. And my week heart.
Signed.
Aan
Maybe I can't get rid them all in a blow, but I try to let go, little by little.
I don't want to be inside the wheel again, it was fun to spent a little bit of my youth with you. But seeing you these days, after the thing that went through, and how it changes us into two, it just break my heart. I used to miss you, like a lot. I cried a lot too on the night, before i can go to sleep. I dreamt of you often.
To be honest, the part that I hate the most in separation is the 'Missing' part. I might say that 'I don't need you, I can live on my own, you're just a bad memory that can easily fade away'. Yeah, but still, that's what your brain just said. And, the heart wants what it wants. The heart wants you while my brain just cannot accept the way you are. We can agreed on this, love makes us insane, logic thinking is no more working in a normal way.. My brain won the war. The feeling for you had been neatly repressed.
Now this is my way of letting go, accepting the facts that those days were the stupid chapter in out youth, I am acknowledging each one of us as a brand new person; that changed to become better in time.
p/s: You might knew me as the laughing-all-the way kiddo back then. I am still one, but my emotional rage is like a silent wild-fire. For you.
what was i thinking when writing this?
Anyway, that was my ego against you. And my week heart.
Signed.
Aan