Posts

2025 Resolutions

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A bit late, but better late than never right? I’m kicking off 2025 with almost a month of sickness It started with Influenza B then ended up with a lung infection. For nearly a week, I spent at least 16 hours a day lying in bed. As someone with high expectations of myself (thanks to the typical Asian upbringing), I’ve been feeling unproductive and downright depressed, to the point where I’ve started to spiral into self-loathing. Haihh. My lungs’ spirometry test sucks. Being someone who tends to see everything as patterns, I can’t help but overthink this rough start to the year. I’m the kind of person who believes that how something begins often reflects how it will end. My brain keeps whispering, “If the foundation isn’t solid, the end result will be just… meh.” Thanks to the sickness, I’ve started 2025 feeling unmotivated, overwhelmed with self-doubt, and lacking the drive to thrive. I haven’t even set my New Year’s resolutions yet because, well, my brain felt like an empty void while...
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Don't Be Sad For Too Long

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Being able to experience sadness is a proof that you're human. Even animals can be upset and sad. So embrace your emotions. Pain demands to be felt. It's the beauty of being alive. There's no certainty that you'll feel the same worldly emotions later on in the afterlife.  Idk what to put as thumbnail, so random ah. Sadness will make you be more grateful of the happiness you less appreciated before. So yeah —Acknowledge your feeling, take time and come back stronger. I am currently experiencing this sad feeling. I had a conflict with my mom—just a petty issue, but due to the differences in how the eldest sibling and the younger one were raised, it feels significant to me. The eldest child grew up while the parents were still experimenting on how to this and that. I am the result of their trials and errors and I can't change the past. My mom is the only mom that I have and her blessing is my everything. P/s: but she's not necessarily correct the entire time! I can...
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We Don't Overcomplicate Life

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Life is a set of options that you've chosen. The privileged have more options to choose from while the under-privileged have fewer. We can't choose the family or social status we're born into. So, it's up to us to at least pick the best options offered along the way to progress into someone better than what we were before. I am still learning about myself, my personality, my interpersonal attitude, and what I want to achieve in life. To learn about yourself is a way to love yourself more. Are we being kind to ourselves?
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Aan Learns Persuasion Soft Skills, also my car is back!

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Hello again. First and foremost, I got my car back after almost a month in the workshop due to a stupid accident. Welcome back Xiao Bai (Lil' White). And then, as written in the title, I learn persuasion. So, this new company I'm working for ( not so new because I've been almost a year working here 😅) has this agreement where every one of us needs to apply for a fully compensable training or course every year. And we can pick what we want to learn, as long as it is beneficial to the company. Guess what? I picked this course 'Storytelling and Influencing: Communicate with Impact' from Coursera. If possible, I would've pick 'Survive Apocalypse Course' by the ASRETEC Inc., too bad, people don't take The Walking Dead series seriously. Because I am too empty-minded and have a hard time storing information inside my brain for long, I am going to write some notes and summarize what I've learned in Week 1 of the course. I'll also try to relate som...
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Aan Being Adventurous

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Assalamualaikum, world. I have not written a blog post for months. I get the urge to write again because I have trouble sleeping. I have so many thoughts overloading my brain. Itu waktu malam. Waktu siang aku rasa aku macam susah bekerja, haha. Semua input waktu meeting aku rasa macam angin lalu. Am I being too saturated with life's circumstances sampai tak cukup ruang untuk benda baru masuk? This is the use case for having a good companionship to share your thoughts and feelings. I already talked to my mom and my best friend, Diana. Hahhaa, but the storm inside my brain is not subsiding yet. So here are the things happening to me recently in April. Aku accident haritu. Kereta yang aku sayang rosak. Poor Xiao Bai Itu je masalah aku. Hahaha. Siapa je yang tak sayang kereta sendiri? Tapi, apalah sangat masalah aku kalau dibandingkan dengan masalah-masalah maha besar orang-orang sekitar aku. Colleague aku baru meninggal sebab cancer. My circle's friend ada yang masih menganggur. K...
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Kenapa Anda Merosakkan Kebahagiaan Diri Anda Sendiri?

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Blog post kali ini aku akan gunakan bahasa Melayu kerana bahasa ni ialah bahasa yang lebih tajam dan keras daripada bahasa Inggeris. Hidup adalah pilihan. Kebahagiaan juga adalah pilihan.    Kalau kau rasa persekitaran kau tidak memberi ketenangan, pindah saja tempat lain. Stress bekerja di syarikat A? Berhenti kerja, kerja di tempat lain. Kebahagian juga lagi senang dicapai kalau kau mempunyai kuasa, wang dan ilmu.  Contohnya, kau seorang majikan, kau ada pekerja yang bermasalah. Wajar ke kau masih menggaji pekerja yang bermasalah tu, hadap perangai dia bertahun-tahun, mengeluh disebabkan pekerja tu bertahun-tahun. Sedangkan kau ada pilihan. Kau boleh sahaja berhentikan dia. Tapi, kau lebih suka pilihan untuk tidak bahagia. Kau pun tahu kan? Kau dah mengata, cakap belakang pasal pekerja kau tu bertahun-tahun. Dosa percuma. Orang lain yang terpaksa dengar pun dapat dosa percuma. 'Tapi kasihan lah..' Kasihani diri sendiri dulu daripada sibuk mengasihani orang lain. Jangan ...
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Life Update Before My Birthday

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Mwahhahaha. Hello again after almost a year. Yeah. I admit that nowadays due to advanced technologies, I feel very lazy to blog. To blog, I need to think about what my post is about, do I have sufficient images to share? I also need to write a lot and overthink my writing, grammar, and writing style. Mehh. I can easily share my life updates via Instagram stories, a picture tells thousands of words they say. But we tend to appreciate on things we spend time on. That's why I still brace myself through this laziness to write this. I hope Aan 20-30 years later will appreciate this shit. Life Updates So Far (sorted from the latest) Coldplay Music of the Spheres Kuala Lumpur On Nov 22, 2023 — I went to my first concert ever. Apparently, after convincing my parents, they allowed me to attend it although they're on the conservative side, pffft. I bought the ticket last May when I was still with ServeDeck. Yeah, I quit ServeDeck in July. Hahah. Buying this made me feel literally rich. ...
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